Give me football!

I've been here close to two months in Farafenni and I think slowly word's gotten out that there's a new toubab in town named Junkung. Apparently, all boys under the age of 16 think that all toubabs are an infinite source of soccer balls.... "My friend, give me football." Sure, kid, let's run over to my soccer ball orchard and pick one.

I haven't programmed a thing in a long, long time, so I'm going express this is pseudocode.... just for kicks.

Person GambianKidPrototype = new Person
GambianPrototype.name = "Mohammadu Bah"
GambianPrototype.skin_color = Black
GambianPrototype.actual_number_of_soccer_balls = 0.5
GambianPrototype.perceived_number_of_soccer_balls = 0

PeopleFactory.registerNewKindOfPerson("GambianKid", GambianKidPrototype)

Person ToubabPrototype = new Person
ToubabPrototype.name = "Toubab"
ToubabPrototype.skin_color = !Black
ToubabPrototype.actual_number_of_soccer_balls = 0
ToubabPrototype.perceived_number_of_soccer_balls = infinite

PeopleFactory.registerNewKindOfPerson("Toubab", ToubabPrototype)

//The following represents the indigenous population of young Gambian boys in Farafenni
for(i = 0;i < 6000; i++)
{
gambian_kid[i] = new PeopleFactory.create("GambianKid")
}

//The following expresses my arrival in town
Person new_guy = PeopleFactory.create("Toubab")
new_guy.name = "Junkung Ceesay"
new_guy.actual_number_of_soccer_balls = 0
new_guy.perceived_number_of_soccer_balls = infinite

//The following expresses a typical encounter with a Gambian kid while(new_guy.perceived_number_of_soccer_balls > 0 AND !new_guy.is_visibly_pissed_off)
{
gambian_kid.askForSoccerBall(new_guy)
}



The coded scenario above was executed the other day as I was walking home. A Gambian kid came up to me and said

"My friend, how are you?".

"Fine, Fine...... a be naadi?", I said, asking how things were in local language.

"You are my friend, you are very nice man."

"Thank you, thank you."

"You are going home?"

"Yes, I'm going home"

"Do you have football for me?"

.........screech!! I stopped and started to open my bag. The terror in the kid's eyes was palpable. I think he thought I was going to pull out a knife and stab him in the weenis. As he was backing away, I showed him my empty bag and said

"Does it look like I have a soccer ball?!"

"Sorry, sorry, no problem", and he scurried off.

Haha..... I totally snapped on the boy, and I felt absolutely no remorse. Good for me!

--Junkung